


02. but i say it is what you love

by astrogeny



Series: if not, winter [3]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7147154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrogeny/pseuds/astrogeny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then again, perhaps it only stings her because Scarlet is completely right.  Azura loves Hoshido dearly, but Hoshido loves her only conditionally in return.</p>
            </blockquote>





	02. but i say it is what you love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aeternelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeternelle/gifts).



> bday fic for fay!! also doubling as fill 02 for the sappho prompt challenge. i’d absolutely butcher leo, so i hope some scarlet/azura is okay instead, since we’ve been talking abt that a lot lately. while she’s not in “survival mode” like i’ve seen her described on conquest, i’m hard-pressed to say azura’s entirely happy, esp since birthright really seems to thrive off of her self-sacrificing Mysterious Waif pain. imo scarlet’s outsider status as someone whose entire country is hanging between nohr and hoshido would give her and azura and interesting dynamic. also, scarlet trying to be Smooth w/azura is cute to me, in contrast to azura really wanting to open herself to someone. this is the most tl;dr author’s note i’ve had in a long while, oops.

“some men say an army of horse and some men say an army on foot  
and some men say an army of ships is the most beautiful thing  
on the black earth. but i say it is  
what you love.”

Somehow, the task of organizing the group’s flying mounts has fallen implicitly to Azura.  The matter had been a nonissue until Cheve added its forces to Hoshido’s, bringing with them a small but well-trained flight of wyvern riders.  Most pegasi don’t balk at a lone wyvern, but a group of them is enough to set both parties on edge, and the kinshi begin aggressive displays of their feathers the moment they lay eyes on the unfamiliar wyverns.  Thus, the handful of wyverns are relegated to an awkward, ramshackle stable of their own, cheek and jowl with Silas’ lone cavalry horse, who regards his new companions with placid disinterest.

Azura doesn’t mind spending time with any of the mounts, for all that they belong to other people.  Each animal has its own personality, much the same as any human–the key difference is that none of the animals attempt to solicit her for unwanted conversations.  It’s almost enough to make her wish sometimes for such a companion of her own, though she wonders how many secrets she could spill to an animal before even that became too much.

The wyvern whose stable Azura visits now belongs to Scarlet, and the other wyverns regard her with the same deference as the humans do her rider.  She’s a beautiful creature, easy to admire in the way the striking white of her scales fades seamlessly into the soft, pearly grey of her underbelly.  Her temperament is a gentle and patient one, though Azura knows from her time in the Nohrian courts that most wyverns are bred to be so fierce that even their masters must struggle to assert their dominance.  Not so with this wyvern, who butts her head gingerly against Azura’s hand, signaling that she’d like for her nose to be rubbed.  Azura humors the wyvern–the feeling of scales against her skin is a soothing one.  Had she never seen Scarlet and her mount in combat, she might worry that the wyvern is under the impression that she’s a house cat.  

As Scarlet’s wyvern leans forward into the petting, her reins dangle down, and Azura notes that they’re studded with jewels.  Azura has only spoken to Scarlet one-on-one on a few occasions, yet the bejeweled reins are so quintessentially _her_ that Azura has to smile.  It’s one that twitches the corners of her lips upwards, despite her brief effort to contain it.  She takes the reins into her free hand for a closer look, brushing her thumb across the stones, each one evenly spaced from the next and pressed deep into the leather.  Some of them are paste, while others are simple rocks, and there’s even what appears to be several kernels of vividly-colored corn, a food Azura has to think about for a moment before she can recall its name.

Someone knocks rhythmically on the wall of the stable.  Both Azura and the wyvern’s heads jolt up–Azura’s in surprise, the wyvern’s in evident delight.  Scarlet leans against the wall like she’s been there for a while, half in her armor, half out of it.  Almost immediately, Azura shuts herself down into her default mode for socialization.  Polite, even sweet at rare times, with a manufactured air of mystery that keeps people at arm’s length before they can push her away even further.

“I apologize for being in here without your leave,” she says, quiet and even.  "I’ll be gone in just a moment.“  Scarlet waves a hand in easygoing dismissal.

"It’s no big deal.  I see you down here every so often, and if Bijou likes you, you’re good in my book.”  

Bijou can only be the wyvern Azura is still petting, and Azura’s incredibly limited knowledge of the language is enough to tell her that the name means “jewel” in Chevois.  At the very least, it’s certainly fitting.  As Scarlet strolls over to join her, Azura stays stiffly rooted to the spot, like an amateurish model holding a wooden pose for a painter.  She can see Scarlet sneaking glances at her, trying to figure out a way to drum up a conversation without scaring her off.

“You ever flown before?” is what she decides on.  She doesn’t ask in a leering or condescending way.  It’s nothing more than an innocent get-to-know-you question, the kind that Azura has conditioned herself to be wariest of.  Earnestness is far more difficult to respond to than passive-aggression, or even outright hatred.  Letting herself be wanted or unwanted as a commodity, and overtures to friendship leave her waiting for the point where she becomes too melancholic, too inaccessible, for the other person to bother any longer.  She feels as though she’s missed her cue, and rushes her response like the speed of her words can make up for her silence.

“I’ve had some elementary training on a pegasus,” she admits.  Scarlet simply nods in response, running a cupped hand up and down the stretch of her wyvern’s long neck.  Bijou looks for all the world like a cat having her chin scratched, her body language loose and relaxed, her fierce eyes hooded as she leans into Scarlet’s touch and emits a little trill of contentment.  

“So, would you maybe wanna try flying with us sometime?  I mean, since you’re always down here with the wyverns, looks to me like you’re at least a little interested, yeah?”  Thinking that Scarlet is referring to combat, Azura responds in kind.

“High mobility may help me accomplish my tasks faster, but I feel wrong in reducing a flying soldier to little more than my bored escort.  I’ll have to decline, for your sake.”  For her own sake as well, as she never knows what to say to whichever sky knight hovers back and watches her sing, their wonder always a touch begrudging.

“Nah,” Scarlet says, shaking her head, “I meant just for fun.  Y'know, like a joy ride.  You’ve got some gorgeous skies here in Hoshido that I won’t tire of seeing up close anytime soon.  Hell, I even got Ryouma to go on a few with me,” and at this, Azura perks up in surprise.  Seeing that she has Azura’s attention, Scarlet is enthusiastic to continue.  "Back in Cheve, when we all thought he was just some Hoshidan noble’s son with nothing better to do than lend us rebels a hand.  Sure, we had to go at night–less risk of getting shot down–but it’s still fun.“

Azura tries to picture Ryouma going on a "joy ride”, or doing much of anything involving joy.

“He’s a good guy, your brother,” adds Scarlet.  "I don’t feel like some sort of second-rate lackey the way I thought I might, dealing with him, or really with any of you Hoshidan royalty.“

"By blood, I am not a member of the Hoshidan royal family,” Azura demurs.  She stops herself short of saying that Ryouma is not her brother–he called her his sister when he first introduced Scarlet to her, she remembers suddenly.  

“You’re still a sweet girl, though.”  Before Azura has a chance to respond to that peculiar remark, Scarlet hurries on from the matter.  "I mean, I didn’t come this far just to have Cheve go from being a Nohrian territory to a Hoshidan one, like it’s just a hot potato for the big-wigs to throw back and forth.“

"Are you admitting to me that your alliance with Hoshido is nothing more than a matter of convenience?” Azura asks, meeting Scarlet’s eyes for the first time in their conversation.  Even when her intention is not to be confrontational, she knows this is a gesture that unnerves people.  For her part, Scarlet only laughs.

“You can be a blunt one when you want, huh?  Look, I know Cheve doesn’t have a chance in hell at independence on its own, but winding up stuck as a friendly country’s vassal still isn’t freedom, even if it’s cozier.”  Azura wonders, then, how much Ryouma has told Scarlet about her, for Scarlet to draw such a hamfisted parallel between Cheve’s situation and Azura’s own.  Then again, perhaps it only stings her because Scarlet is completely right.  Azura loves Hoshido dearly, but Hoshido loves her only conditionally in return.

She decides it’s time to go, her endurance for conversation spent–it’s not running away if you go about it right, even if a lonely part of you wouldn’t mind staying.

“I hadn’t meant to interrogate you.  If you don’t mind, I’ll leave now, like I said I would,” Azura says.  Scarlet looks surprisingly woebegone as Azura begins to withdraw, giving Bijou one last pat on the nose for her quiet, impartial observation of the conversation.

“I didn’t mean to scare you off,” Scarlet says.  "I’d love it if you came and visited Cheve, once this is all over.  Hell, I’d love it if I could talk to you a little more, period.“  When Azura looks back at her, there’s a blush covering the freckles on her cheeks, like she’d expected this "chance” meeting to go differently.  Azura scolds herself inwardly for wanting from afar, yet also for the tiring persistence of her own aloofness.  

For the first time, she tries to imagine herself just vanishing into anonymity.  It seems no different from the death she can accept is coming for her, if she thinks of it as something cold and far away.  Instead of dying with a blade through her gut, or singing herself away into a wisp of foam, Azura ventures to picture herself taking a joy ride with Scarlet on her wyvern.  Again, she knows she’s been silent for too long, so she indulges Scarlet (and herself) with a smile.

“I’ll certainly consider it,” she says quietly.


End file.
